I’ve been reading through my old blog posts today. I didn’t realize that I have over 300 posts ranging from 2005 to 2013. There’s a real range of emotions from beginning to end. One post really stood out. It’s from late 2009:
“My day started out with a failed attempt to get out of bed. Not because of the usual suspects; my back, lack of sleep (due to my back or insomnia) or all-night creative binge. It was something new. I couldn’t walk without very sharp pains shooting up into my hip. I’ve never broken a bone, but I have to say this must feel similar. It felt as though my leg had been broken and bones were rubbing against each other.
So, this morning I returned to the doctor. He quickly assessed that it was not bursitis, but couldn’t figure out was was going on. For now, he wants to go with two different diagnoses with medication for each. He gave me a steroid shot, a pain reliever and a muscle relaxer and told me to go home and take all three. I’m supposed to report back to him in the morning with the results.
After a day of what felt like a drug-enduced comma, I have an overwhelming urge for ‘changes’. I don’t know how to describe it. Not anything like ‘mid-life crisis’ changes, just a desire for things to be different. I was making really good progress with my new diet, sugar monitoring and exercise regimen and then my leg refused to cooperate. What’s next? My leg will work, but my head falls off when I stand up? LOL I know it sounds ridiculous, but I honestly don’t know what to expect next. I’m just a bit frustrated at the whole process and how things are going.”
Shortly thereafter I was diagnosed with my hip issues and four hip surgeries were underway.
I hadn’t really thought about how many years this struggle with my health has been going on, but I certainly feel it. I’m exhausted more and more these days.
I’m scheduled to see specialists at UAMS next month. Maybe some “changes” will finally start happening.